I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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