peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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