I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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