i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
