If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
