super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
why is half of my head shaved?
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