My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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