We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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