I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
