Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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