just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
