You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
