It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
