Sponge bath it is.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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