no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had to cum in my sink.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
