I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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