Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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