i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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