You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
