A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
