booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
