There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
