i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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