"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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