Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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