I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
