u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
