ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
