she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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