I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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