hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
