I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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