oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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