i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
