that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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