It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
