Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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