Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
