He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
