I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
