The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
