Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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