sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
