how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
