Kiss
Puke
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
