Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
