i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
