We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
