halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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