i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
