Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
