I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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