we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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