as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
there is glitter all over my balls
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